The awareness that comes with new beginnings

I feel like a new beginning in a new place is something that everyone should experience at least once in their life.  Just uprooting yourself and everything that you sought comfort in and leaving it behind for a place that you know very little about.  It's not just about the excitement, or the allure in the change or the place you are leaving for, it is more about how that situation will reveal to you some things that you may not like about yourself.  Moving to Haiti for just a couple of months is not that big of a change, but it is just big enough to bring about awareness into my life and who I am as a person.  

To elaborate on this thought, two major things have been brought to light about myself just in these past few days that are hindering me in what I am trying to do here and how I would like to connect with others around me.  1:  I don't feel like I can talk in most conversations with new friends, so I don't, and 2:  I believe lies in my head about who I am and my place in Haiti

The first reality is something that I have been dealing with for awhile.  I don't know why, but when I meet new poeple, or am in a new place, I am very quiet.  I don't know if it is because I feel that this is a sign of respect, or if this is just my way of processing a new place, but I am realizing that it can come off as really negative.  It's not that I feel that I have nothing to say in conversations, but when I am with a group of poeple that know each other really well, I feel that I should let them laugh and talk and I will listen and laugh along.  This group that has lived in Haiti has lived here awhile, and so they know a lot about each other.  I came into the mix believing that I shouldn't say much, which is something that I know now is not true.  I need to be me all of the time.  I need to feel that I can ramble off a thousand sentences per minute and tell the most ridiculous of jokes like I do with those that I care about most.  In reality there is a time and a place for everything, so silence is sometimes necessary, but not always, and not when meeting new friends.  This is a lie that I was allowing myself to belive because it kept me safe.  But it also kept me from connecting with people.  People are the puzzle peices.  We need each other.

Going along with the realization of my first reality was my second.  These lies are things that I believed to keep me from connecting with others.  How many others have I believed?  Even a language barrier should not keep me from connecting with those who live in Haiti.  Showing love  towards someone can be in the most basic of forms.  I have rediscovered the art of the smile.  It is the same in every language.  What a beautiful gift we have in each other to bring each other joy and love when we need it.  We should never take it for granted.  

Ridiculous joke that came to mind when writing that: What kind of tree grows hands?

a: a palm tree.....ha ha!

That is all that I have for today.  I love you all.  Bring a smile along with you wherever you may go today